Tom Cruise is keeping a list
and when this is all over he is going to tell your mother everything
there is nothing to escape from it is a passing panic
let’s just calm and purr with ease™
a minivan just knocked down the power lines in a shower of white sparks
in a desert a soldier sells a truck of guns for a bag of diamonds
two people embrace by the fountain
one of them is crying a little
and leaning completely against the other person
when they whisper into the sleeve
I feel uneasy™ and tired™ and quiet
like I have been vomiting my entire life
I hesitate and gasp I pray to it when I pray
it is a fire hydrant flying through the air after the explosion
it is the porn left on the screen when I leave
it is the four tiny deer dancing on the hot dog cooker
the scary™ news is next to the funny™ news on the homepage
the projector sends light across the room to the screen
I lose you in a crowd and look for you like my child
I push people gently and look in all directions I quietly say
‘where are you. where are you, for crissakes, just tell me
where you are. I will figure out how to get there.’
she takes ice cubes out of her mouth and looks up at him
he is leaning back and sighing and moaning he begs her not to stop
white gauze taped over an eye
crowbar in the couch by the window
someone goes to the cupboard a hand grabs a plastic plate
simultaneously I trust™ you and suspect™ you
and there is a way that my skin protects me
there is a little long lasting regret™ there is a little long lasting flavor
she gnaws on a straw and waits in the lobby tapping her foot on the tiles
at last relax give into it will carry you we have no power to stop this
I try to attack this emptiness™ and shiver
attack this nothing™ and whisper to
young Tom Cruise sitting on a step and imaging being famous some day
little did he know
we grow to screw up
and live with it everyday
I’m so glad™ you are here
to see me through in some way
to show me up and I notice silently every time and think about it
alone and then someone makes a noise in the hall
a green mactruck angles around a corner near a market
and past the fence between the doghouse and the street
I am Tom Cruise I have no problem remembering what my face looks like
we hunted with sticks with bone tips that we sharpened then one day
a man in a jogging suit went merrily along the sidewalk
someone gets off the bus and steps onto the ground
a bike rack on the back of the minivan moves past the stop sign
we go under the ocean and the algae
we spread across Alaska
we split up
it is walking on the world wearing shoes it is a family of mountain lions on top of the mobile home on the top of a mountain
a garbage truck drives up the steps through the foyer through the
living room through the stairs through the walls through the kitchen
out the back wall over the patio and through the fence
there is internal profanity
I am inside your water bottle
it is a cat licking makeup off eyelids
it is the twelve year old ventriloquist listening to sonatas
take my hand and walk while our palms touch
live with ease™ and walk and breathe with ease™ in the violent sounds
Tom Cruise flies through the air not far from the explosion
it is the pit of dead peacocks we have fallen into
it is the discarded scrunchie that breaks the case
our planet has been through so many extinctions
who are we kidding this is never going to last
Tom Cruise looks at the disaster from a nearby cliff
someone in white shoes drops a coin on the crosswalk
a milk crate is fastened to a bike with a person pedaling it
lots of us have become stop signs without roads
the table has a few stains but no worry
no worry it is a melting whistle on the sidewalk
a group circles the man in the orange shirt
one person punches the orange shirt and the man gasps and falls
a young girl pushes the chalk on the sidewalk humming something
we fly together above the grasslands we near a forest and land in trees
take this keep it close to your heart when people spit at you and the
spit separates into two spits and one spit hits each eye take this
to wipe your face with or to soak the blood up
I am here take this and look directly into the light
it will be over soon and it could be worth it
right away I know you are worthy of saving yourself from this world
I stroke your hair
‘soon enough, soon enough, our trouble will be over.’
you slap my hand away
‘what then, what then, if we keep up like this, what then.’
here it is just above the water


I don’t need much I just need a little more than nothing™
and I want you to stay alive as long as you can
because being alive means something™
it is a small meaning
but that is all there is
and that is fine™ with me
because it is a little bigger than nothing™
I want to approach you and converse with ease™
but I just smile and nod and walk on cement
I look back I try to make it seem like I amstretching when you catch me
a butterfly touches a flower on the outskirts of a forest where a deer walks my heart is a jaguar with the legs and antlers of an elk
I finally speak to you but I don’t say what I mean to say
and I feel stupid™ I shake my head a little when I walk away
now that I think about it you were right and the whole time
all I really wanted to do was pull you in and make your skin touch my skin
I shake my head vigorously in private then I do something different
I imagine watching from the stands as you hold up the trophy
I am a maximum security prison that employs full time guards
there is a t-shirt between the body and the sweater and there is sweat
coming out of the body and soaking into the t-shirt
the glare is unholy I hold my hand above my eyes to shade them
the mactruck swerves and adrenaline is released in the body of the driver
there is no one around
lean in I mean it
come here and look at this
there is a heart in my body and a nail on my finger
Tom Cruise sits there thinking while his ice cream melts onto the couch
I look at the wall and think about touching it
because I know it will stay where it is
and I always get so scared™ that you will move away when I touch you
but I have gotten used to being scared™ and it doesn’t stop me anymore
you are my empty photo frame
and the nothing in the air between me and the window reminds me of us
the tornado pulls small pieces of things off the ground and eventually
tosses them far from where we are standing
this is the brief contact of our fingers when I hand you something
it doesn’t mean much but I remember vividly and it makes me think
we may have some kind of future™ together
the nurse pushes the wheelchair towards the bed
the nurse picks up the person from the bed
the nurse sits the person in the wheelchair
the wheels rotate on the linoleum
a long time ago I banished my love™
and when it returned it looked like anger™
but it was just love™ and scared™ combined
please help me pry apart
I sleep with one hand on my head and
one hand between the bed and my heart
I think about you half way across the world and I know you can’t help me
costume pocket watch with the chain through the button hole
the water moves from inside the plastic bottle into the mouth
someone stands on the rock at the base of the mountain
the bird flies through the air in real life and I don’t see it
until it is on the nature channel when I am falling asleep
it starts to rain miles from where I am but I can still smell it
the shaking paper held by a shivering person in shorts while it snows


it is just above the water where the fireflies group
it is on the surface of the water where the stars and the bugs reflect together
the steel cage that encloses the ring shakes as
one person slams another person’s head against it
sway of the chain link
Tom Cruise sits on a rocking chair on the front porch waiting for you
two people discuss dates as they carry a mattress through a yard
the residue on the plastic where the sticker was
we are still between a sheet and a mattress
we have something to hide
so whatever else there is is secondary to staying hidden
and keeping the mouths inside us
to eat small parts of us slowly in this shabby state that looks remarkable
it falls apart alone and knows it left us here
the strong smell of large cats with spots between trees and flowers
I have wanted to cry all day but I have denied that impulse so far
and it is so tough to tell what will bring the breaking
so I’ll carry my body along and live through
and shut off nothing™ and attempt while incapable™
a truck blows a tire and is under the super cell storm turns into a tornado
quiet hotel across from the nightclub there is a back door closing
slowly and some smoke going into the air above the ashtray
a person wearing headphones flips through a catalog
walking between the tv and the couch
we’ve gotten ourselves into a tough™ spot
one of the tires is up on the snow bank
one of tire spins just above the ground
Tom Cruise gives a thumbs up as he flies over us in a military jet
a shoe pulls gum from the sidewalk
a rock on a wet rock this narrow place is home
a few facial hairs missed by the razor
Tom Cruise wipes a towel on your skin
our world is filled with small things and invisible searches
while we try to talk about nothing™ in passing
I call out your name in my room and remember
the window is open
an arrow with a rope tied to it flies through the room into the wall
how did you find out
a body with a wound in a bed
a hand pushes the tray off the table
and this distance
our distance only grows
a grappling hook catches on each one of our limbs
the ropes go taut and we are suspended in the air
I dance with the lion in the top of the tree on the sidewalk of the city
Tom Cruise will forever be with you
Tom Cruise is jumping on couches dancing on tables and
hanging from chandeliers
I care™ about you
I am afraid™ you will turn on me at any moment
so I keep to myself for most of it
a feather in the helmet on the ground
make-up moving down a face in a tear and
the hand that smears across the cheek
is loving™ and only trying to help
but we break together sometimes
this little fire is nice Tom Cruise is smiling at you here
it’s all okay™ no matter what no matter what it’s all okay™
I close my eyes when the sun comes up I only look at the eclipse
the wheel turns the earth turns the human looks at the human
and looks away because it is scary™ to be able to look
leave me with nothing and I will think of you
you are the only person I would be happy™ to see right now
maybe I’m hungry and that is where the emptiness comes from
I will smile lovingly™ take your hand
and put it to my forehead in honor of you
I will breathe repeatedly in honor of you and me being here together
I will not be angry™ at you
there are small cages around the chickens
and there are smaller cages protecting the hidden animals
and my heart has its place and purpose
but not for long
loving™ hands and fish bowls float in space
out of the dark into the dark
I swipe my hands through the dark and
swallow some spit to drown the scared™ out of me
the area of invisible pollution around the steam that rises
from the sewer into the air above the street between the buildings
we are held
we are small animals
with short life spans
holding on
when I die I will leave me behind
I’ve gotten used to being left behind because I live in the world
I have learned to return the favor
and it hurts me without injury
but I cannot answer the phone right away
I shudder and touch the tiny plastic button to make the ringing stop
I am turned up music
I am your umbrella and I wait patiently for rain
I walk past you on a sidewalk and
say nothing for the sake of habit


the light turns on and I can see it from where I am
I imagine it is your light and I think of you whistling while music plays
the animal jumps down from the tree between our windows
there is a flag in the drawer in the office of the elementary school
I ignore you for a long time but I am thinking about you at all times of day
I buy fast food and then feel sick before eating it
this is the whispered part of what I say to you
when we are holding each other laying on a bed with the lights off
don’t worry™ about it
don’t think about it all that is gone now all that is gone
I am the national reserve and I am burning
and all the love™ inside me burns like money
in small fires spread throughout the larger fire
then I miss you because I have nothing left
the chainsaw touches the log and the birds take off from the trees
a small dog scratches at a door and the owner comes over to let it out
it’s alright™ put soap on it and scrub gently
watch it touch the sink and go into the pipes
Tom Cruise sits at a dinner table with his family talking about junk food
the body of water touches rocks and air at the same time
there is a noise coming from under the leather
Whoopi Goldberg sticks out her tongue
while she moves her eyebrows and shoulders
the sun is going down the sun is growing gowns and
a face touches the bushes
those gummy worms are motionless and slightly melted on the sidewalk
this is a sad™ day with a few smiles spread throughout
a car dropped on another car in the dump behind the
meadow at the foot of the mountain
it is a cartoon piano falling from the harness down to the street
where we stand embracing
there are many parts
but oh well I guess
it is out of our hands
thank goodness™
where are you
come here
I wish I you could hear me thinking of you
so I knew I could hide nothing and just move on
Tom Cruise has skin that is a boundary separating him from the rest of us
the satellite circles far off all I want to see is you nearing
maybe thinking about finding me where I am
product launches are our sacred gatherings
we have nothing else so powerful and unifying
I struggle to find happiness™ in this mess
I struggle to find energy and happiness™
and I am angry™ and sad™ most of it
there is joy™ in that but it is second rate
trust me
because I still miss you I wish you loved™ me too but I know
things don’t work that way for most of it
I stand on the earth with my hand blocking the sun scanning for you
someone stands near a tree looking up at the leaves moving
the horse pulls the wagon on the dirt road
I am thinking about you silently
I walk around a building and think about you
the sweater touches my neck where the t-shirt isn’t
I imagine you sliding down the banister but nothing happens
Tom Cruise stands in front of his gold plated closet
thinking about what to wear
there is a long day ahead he sighs and buttons up his shirt
a tree with no leaves between a fence and the highway
I brush my hand against your hand and get nervous™ the red table cloth moves a little and you are whistling a melody of a popular song
all of us are in for it that is one thing we share
while we feel so lonely™ and untouched and while we don’t
stomp on it
put that fire out and start a new one
between the clouds and the land
I am the president of my inner life I impeach myself and appoint you
but you turn down the offer and order me to take control of myself
there is a double-decker bus turning a corner while
the mother pushes the stroller out of the building next to the road
I leave you behind and jog
I regret™ it
do you understand how this happens
I have a sensation of nothingness™ inside me and I forget how to speak


the frog hits the water
there are small sounds of rocks landing on rocks
a shot clock expires
I hope™ you remember me
there is a boar and a baboon and a bull is charging
Tom Cruise waves his arms in the air chasing us from the yard
and I hope™ you remember me
a piece of hair falls through the air to the carpet
pink bunnies jump on the bed in the dark room
it is a wall that is covered in picture frames
a vehicle with its wheels spinning as it falls from the cliff to the landfill
I do not know how to call and that is why I sit here crumbling up this paper bag and folding it a couple times and tossing it into
the red garbage can next to the black lamp
Tom Cruise puts on a shirt and walks across the room to the mirror
I can see your light through this pollution and these miles
someone drives a car and looks through the windshield
the ocean splashes on the boat
I dance nearby and look over at you
I walk with you on the asphalt nearing the patch of grass
you walk on the yellow line in the street I walk behind you
and put my hands on your shoulders and we both walk this line
you look up and stumble while I hold onto your shoulders so
I stumble with you
and I am glad™ to lose my balance with you near the tree with
the swing swaying in the breeze that carries these leaves towards us
while the clouds move near the moon and it gets darker I grip tighter
but no worry™ no worry™
the large animal jumps from the tree
I run over to it
it slashes my skin and my shirt and my headband
and my hair moves in the wind
as I bleed I look over to you and I try to tell you with my eyes
that you are worth protecting
the animal knocks me to the ground
and stands over me I swing a stick at it and scream and look into it’s eyes
it bites my neck and you throw a rock
that knocks it out still biting my neck
together we open its mouth with out hands
I roll on the grass
come here please lay here with me
please there are birds flying through the clouds let’s watch them
the grass is wet and bloody and I pull you in
and lean on your skin with my clothing
the light shines through the window
there is a wind chime hanging over a porch
I go to sleep on the couch with my elbows on my knees
and my hands on my chin
the baseball players sing along with the recording of the national anthem
holding their hats over their hearts


the statue of the warrior between two metal trees covered in blue lights
my virus protection is always outdated
I rub my forehead looking at the ground
multiple helicopters are hovering just above the water
a giraffe touches the grass of the savannah
it is the blue part of that body touching the carpet
take it easy tell me what’s wrong
I get a text massage from you and I try to reply but it doesn’t send
your hand touches the fur of the cat while the cat bites the green mouse
there is a full moon and I am glad not to be a werewolf because
I want to get back to the house where people have to knock
while I am motionless and quiet
the mactruck drives on a long straight road going through a prairie
the herd scatters and runs to where the predators aren’t
four eyes of two people on a blind date
you push the door
out of the way
and it rotates
the head just kind of opened up and there was dark liquid on the concrete
Tom Cruise can’t sleep tonight
he paces in the kitchen near some posters of himself
there is a window washer standing on the scaffolding leaning on the mall
I don’t know why it feels so much easier™ when you’re here
it is like a lot of things that don’t matter too much
and wake me up like a loud sound
I convince myself to feel haunted just so I won’t be alone
there are lots of people in machines far away from houses moving quickly between rows of lights on poles
I felt bored™ and looked at the cotton socks in the shape of my feet
the panther wakes up next to a smaller panther in the tall grass
it looks to where the sound is coming from then goes back to sleep
I have taken out a subprime loan and I want to give you all the money
Tom Cruise does jumping jacks on top of a sky scraper
A gold chain touches a grey shirt and the neck of someone
sitting in a station wagon braking at the stop sign
the cameras rotate the ring in the center of the arena
most of the leaves move in the wind while something breathes
in the shadow moving on the ground it’s all right
the paper bag on the counter doesn’t mean much
Tom Cruise mops the kitchen floor wearing an apron
neon leaflets are dropped from a plane while it’s snowing
someone opens a cabinet and puts a jar on a shelf
I stretch my legs out and try to think of something to say to you
but I can’t decide so I just wait for you to say something
one boot is standing and one boot is lying by the door
an animal ducks behind the dumpster
a volcano makes an island in the sea
I remember the first time we met
that was before earbuds
there is a part of the flower underground
there is a sleepy people walking through towns with hats on
someone stands on top of a building speaking into a megaphone
I yell up to them I try to yell louder than the megaphone can go
I run up the stairs the door is locked when I get there I look at you standing on the ground and shake my head as I walk down the stairs
you walk a little and stop and stand with your hands in your pockets
we stand below the building listening
Tom Cruise wears a fireman’s helmet and carries an ax
there is a sound louder than a megaphone
pieces of building hit the ground
the megaphone hits the ground
more rubble crashes over us like a wave
we are buried under five stories of rubble
wiggling our way through the pile yelling to one another
I whisper while metal and glass and concrete jab my body
I can hear the sound of you working through it where you are
the sun comes up and goes down and
people are walking somewhere above us
I pass a body that is blue and continue I hear you loudly
you are above me screaming through the megaphone
pieces you are standing on fall through the debris and touch my face
while I wiggle I hear your voice for an entire day
and I finally climb through and it is nighttime
there is a crowd of people wearing different kinds of equipment
I drink water from a cup that is handed to me
I touch your ankles with my forehead
Tom Cruise stands in front of the smoke and
nods approvingly holding his hands on his hips
A supernova releases a large mass of energy and detonates
far from our planet where a bird touches the ocean with its wing
you are here with me handing me the jaguar and the elk
a box of nails next to a lighter on a counter
I think about seeing you when your not around and I get lightheaded
and put my hand on my heart and think about the pledge
while I count my heartbeats watching the clock
a fire extinguisher attached to a wall next to a door
the car nears the intersection the right blinker turns on
the person stands on the median the car u-turns around the median
a fluorescent light makes a high-pitched sound in the gas station
the mop touches the ceramic the mop moves circularly
an airplane disappears into a cloud
but there is still the sound of it


the octopus moves alone through the ocean where it is dark
it gets dark here too
I’m used to it now
I expect it and put my body weight into it to keep from flipping
I am not traveling to the part of the world that is bright all the time
we stir the mix together or I do nothing and get useless
I watch TV and think about you
one star gravitates mass from another star and expands until it's unstable
a metal bike rack sits on the concrete surrounded by grass
Tom Cruise eats chips out of a plastic bowl
he calls a contact from his cell phone
the sun is coming up
there is a tree with no leaves falling over a bird flies from the tree
the gymnast’s feet touch the trampoline
then the gymnast spins in the air
thousands of bats fly out of the cave where the river turns into a waterfall
bottle in a bag in a trashcan
mold on some food in a bowl covered with paper
I will tell you and tell you and tell you
because I forget how it gets sometimes
I’ll look at your face near your eyes while I talk to you
I spit the rosary out and pick up the chopsticks
I’ll see you around
this tree moves a bit in the wind I watch it from inside the house
and wipe some cheese off the table
the phone rings and my heartbeat picks up I look at the number
I cannot answer right now the phone stays on the table and isn’t touched
it stays ringing I am sorry it’s just circumstances nothing personal™
I shake my head and a balled up piece of paper lands in the empty box
I relate a little
I imagine you holding the ringing phone then closing the phone,
then putting it on the table next to the bag
there is a chip under the couch
that bulldozer drives on top of the dump
arranging the pile while garbage trucks pour in
a hand that holds the wallet inside the pocket
I think about my problems™ I think about my problems™ all day long
and I relate to the coma
I touch my chin to my shoulder
a nerf gun shoots a dart that sticks on the mirror where a face reflects
dead gnats accumulated at the bottom of the bulb dim the bulb
a finger turns on the game system
plugged into the hd hanging on the wall next to a picture
Tom Cruise riverdances looking in your eyes his nose touching your nose
I’m hiding the phone under the mattress
there is a pair of sunglasses on the pool table
and a pinball machine repeating a song and blinking in the dark room
there isn’t any paper on the table there is no glass of water there
it is an empty surface reflecting the shine from the bulb of the floor lamp
a battlefield with tourists walking on it looking up at the partial eclipse
a zebra and a giraffe walk through the same shallow water miles apart
a pack of hyenas hunt a grazing impala
the air between the hooves and the ground
there are a lot of terribles™ out there that
embed the video of sadness inside the ribcage
the cats make some noise jumping off the counter onto the ceramic
shorts with scorpions embroidered on them
I ace and I shiver and ache wearing a headband on the tennis court
a hand touches the handle and opens the cooler door
Tom Cruise rolls down the hill then gets up and tries to keep his balance in this dizzy I like™ that you exist because
I have gotten used to feeling nothing™ or tragics or thrillers
you are alright™ and I feel good™ right now
and I probably wouldn’t of done that without you
I think about feeling good™ sometimes when I feel nothing™
it feels like a memory or a house across town with a tornado between us
a bug lands in the water the ripples move the light
the sock in a cardboard box in the storage space under the building
the dog steps off the snow
the dog steps in the puddle
the bug feels the dog’s tongue
the puddle ripples as the dog walks back onto the snow
the dog nuzzles the person carrying the retractable leash
someone sitting on a bench sneezes then takes a sip from a plastic bottle
I hang glide with you over the ocean
I nudgeyour shoulder with my shoulder and pointing
all these socks that touch the shoes that touch the escalator
I will carry you
my hair is your rickshaw and I run over all terrain and lay you in the bed still sleeping


I smear my pain™ on my skin and wear it under my clothes
how do I hide what you hide show me
they are heading straight towards us
it is rising into the air between the trees without leaves
it is a milk carton in the hand of an astronaut
Tom Cruise puts on a red white and blue motorcycle helmet
a tank chases a soldier that sees an abandoned gun
he fires towards the tank dust rises from beneath
he fires explosives in to the air
here is a parking lot in front of a forest in front of the sky
a bird flies from a tree to the pavement sing with me birdie sing with us in the understand disaster of the daily give and settle™
it is a golden bear waking up near someone’s pool and walking over to the
bird feeder it is standing on it’s hind legs trying to grab the bird feeder
it is a spasm during an embrace
it is in the darkness of the under under
I hesitate I put the drink down and look at you
I don’t know I just hope™ to get there sometime
I miss™ you we walk past one another and I miss™ you
this is no grave here we spit blood and continue without it
dark wing mid-flight middle of the day
Tom Cruise catches the head in a net and lets the body fall
this fluorescent burns the hand
come back to me swinging door
there is nothing wrong™ with the end of it
and that makes this fight worthwhile
I know I will not succeed™ but I will fight
and warriors pursue us through the cornfields
I do not want to win I want to fight for us
I insult you by calling you names I touch you
the door closes someday so I hold it open for now
the panther jumps from the tree and runs in our direction
a car slows the brake lights go on and off
a panther chases Tom Cruise through the forest towards the light
cricket in the backyard hidden in the shadow of the house
a fire is lit and a dog walks on a carpet
it feels like a grave and looks like light
in this boring life in the middle of civilization
I mean to get there
I look over to you but there is only a mirror there
I take my shoe off and throw it at the mirror
that’s it I’m going out there to find you


there is a waterfall inside your eyeball
that is turning so quickly in this pathetic™
I give in to good™ and bad™
just because I like to feel them
Tom Cruise smiles looking at the lava on the rocks
thermal receipt paper in a plastic bag under wet bottles
a body bag on a body bag on a body bag in a dark room
headbands wristbands and socks on a human
we are surrounded by eagles and owls and bears and wolves
but they are all logos so no worry™
there is calm™ to go with the opposite
the ripple of the rock in the wave of the ocean
fur on micro fiber and grey tape on the window
I touch a doorknob and look at you
you look wonderful™ and your brain is shining through your hair
I smile from under a hood and fireflies come out from between my teeth
Tom Cruise crouches in the jungle holding a machine gun
wind moves around the person and hits the window
it is morning it is too early to call
but I need™ you now to help™ carry on with my disgust™ with all those hidden things
I don’t know I’m scared™ and holding my stuffed dog and thinking of you sometimes
no matter
it is a light that blinks in the hallway when a voice comes over the loudspeaker
it is blood by the light of the prism
Tom Cruise shoots a skyhook in the driveway
I am looking for something I want™ for myself and it doesn’t exist
I look to you for this every now and then
and I have to remind myself that you hold your water
I hold my water
I make a prison and think of you from far away
simultaneous horns in traffic at night near the neon that light the street
a power panel vibrates every now and then
the vampire hooks in its teeth
a solitary captain with a diamond on his finger
looking at the mast in the mist in the middle of the night
a wreath of oak leaves
come over here and put me out of my misery™ I sing to you
I am food
the mountain in the sunlight near the shore where the water touches sand
young Tom Cruise lays on the driveway watching the swaying grass
guerrillas in the jungle make hand motions
it is left behind veterinarians dancing in a dark bar
I’m fighting through the painful™ feelings in my body
surrounded by thousands of asteroids and billions of comets
he went in the store and bought some milk then got back into the car
it is a lovely™ mummy in the museum surrounded by lights and tourists
a small robot sits on the surface of mars surrounded by the moving dust
and it does not pace it does not call home it is a slow burial
the feather gently out of the pillow and down to the hardwood
drowsy astronauts come back to earth
it is a full size day-glo statue of liberty
I listen to the glistening icicles
I hold the phone with your number in the memory
and think of calling you even though it is late you might still be up
I place that small machine on the counter and walk away from it
butterfly floating over a waterfall
Tom Cruise sings on a bus driving through the city
it is crying cheerleaders running onto the field breathing heavily
there is a snake in my heart
there is a baby in my heart
each small motion I make is a part of the code my inner life offers you
the bus flips and lands in the yard
someone crawls out of the wreck bloody
I am full of love™ and heartbroken™ continually
this is the battlefield of emptiness™ and overflow
it is the generation of praise and lazy™
we do nothing
we put our face in the disaster and do nothing with it
an explosion expands behind us and ahead of us


I’m not letting this bullshit™ keep me from sleeping at night anymore
there is a shovel sticking out of the ground
I am looking in your eyes on purpose and I refuse to look away
there is a person walking out into the ocean near the city
Tom Cruise holds someone over the edge of the porch upside down
it is the chains on our limbs pulling us to pieces in this civilized world
heat rises from the motor of the car idling in the soil
a person struggles out of the wreckage torn metal cuts through the skin
I touch your hair and look into your eyes everything is going to be okay™
there is pain™ here there is sadness™ and a hand held out for you
fireworks go off over the water the town gathers and looks at the sky
there is compassion™ in the consumer handling the clerk the bills
the toilet overflows I relate to it and sit and sigh before going on
it is an invisible commitment to continue
no matter no matter
there is surprisingly™ more
I am getting used to it to living with broken things
and patiently™ mistaking my way to making them work™
Tom Cruise clips a microphone onto his lapel
the motor ignites and spreads with the explosion
it flies through the air over the building
and lands on the ground at your feet on the road
it is the erupting volcano surrounded by tornados in the middle of a hurricane
take a breath it will be over soon enough and back into the nothing™
we are helpless™ while a chair moves toward us
a yellow convertible driving down the road in the fall on
the tv in the conference room of the party at the hotel
Tom Cruise hops on one foot he kneels and touches his fist to the ground
a body smashes through the dock into the water
it is an organism only microscopes can see
I listen to you and bring the glass to my lips
we must go through this and I know that it hurts™
and I am sorry™
but this is it
a bit of a disappointment™
but it’s not so bad™
and it is soo bad™
don’t be afraid™
I will cry in the sadness™ of us but there is no need to struggle
your halo is a hollow spider web suspending a fly above the gas pump
you’re your headlights let you see three-hundred fifty feet ahead of you
the fog sinks to the ground and holds us invisibly
once I could smell you
the nebula slowly floats off
it is a crown on a pillow being carried over to you
a crowd by the side of the river
there is nothing™ without you but it hurts™ too and that is meaningful
Tom Cruise touches the microwave that heats his popcorn
we have been waiting as long as we have been here
you can save™ yourself
toucans in the jungle eat bugs from the bark
while Tom Cruise puts his finger in his mouth
escape into the world with me
fiery cars on the side of the road
a bomb that almost killed every one of us
and this is about as holy a place as we are gonna find
we cling to civilization and repel each other
I sit alone and speak and worry™
for right now
on the screen young Tom Cruise slides into the frame and pretends to sing
I jumped up and gave a moth a high five
and it died on impact and spiraled down to the concrete
I am the hidden power™ of the suburbs
Tom Cruise sings karaoke looking around
all of this is hostile™ territory
where you can buy things and set them down
and turn on the TV and the remote still gives something gracious™
I accumulate habits and panic™ between habits
it is one thing at a time for now and carry on
Tom Cruise walks down the street with plastic wrap covering his eyes
it is lurching forward and rotating in the metal box
lean lean and regret™
that is what the bench gets
paint paint and power washings
that is what the wall gets
someone stands on a porch in America wearing
sunglasses some ice rattles in a cup in their hand
a little softer a little slower here
is a small bliss™ that passes
a virtual reality in a reality
it is a conveyer that moves pieces into holes


I walk through the tall grass towards the supermarket
there are streetlights on and some car noise over there
I kneel in the grass and my hair moves in the wind
the grass moves in the wind
the garbage near the curb moves in the wind
I jump out of the grass
and hit your shoulder with my shoulder and smile at you
you push me back into the grass I laugh
the milk coats the glass she drinks from
a little runs down her collar and Tom Cruise hands her a napkin then
he looks at his cellphone in the low light of the restaurant
you skip with me on the concrete I sit on a curb and look in your eyes
what is it
what’s wrong™
it is a group of models dancing under a disco ball
the balloon moves towards the clouds
the cat stands on the mower and nuzzles against the window
I say ‘how was your night?’ to you on instant messenger
you don’t respond
a few hours later I send ‘hello’
and then a couple hours after that ‘okay, goodnight’
Tom Cruise wears an eye patch and watches a war from inside a building
I step toward the vehicle and invite you inside
the movie freezes
so these people kiss forever
with the rubble in mid-air
it is a video game played on a cell phone
the clouds move over the forest slowly
the clouds crash against the mountains and hover above the lake
I send an e-card with pictures of birds in trees
a submarine submerges and goes silent
water touches the inside of the bucket
a hand picks up the bucket
water touches the window
the empty bucket touches the ground
Tom Cruise follows the directions of the gps
I sing to you from inside the sonar
a crowbar touches a forehead and
the forehead touches the grass
the scrunchie falls off of the person rolling up the passenger window
we have a build in surge protector that keeps up from getting overpowered
we are slowly saved from the fire by the fire™
have no fear™ here the scary™ is the water we are born in
from the yellow barrier I can hear a marriage and a motor and a tide
there is the sound of small animals in trees
I sip from the nozzle the water mixes with saliva
a glass casket is carried by a crane over an estate
I am rubble I rebuild myself
knees run through dark gyms
I shiver on this terrifying™ terrain
turning my head back and forth frantically looking for you
Tom Cruise hits the beach ball into the pool
I am part of the dying equation
it is the chariot and the chassis in the afternoon
you are soft reins in my mouth it’s just so empty otherwise
I imagine I am the person driving us and I smile
there is so much to everyday
it is endless and insignificant™
and I am glad™ there is no normal™ to return to
Tom Cruise is tossed off a pillow into the world
it was passed up and then it was passed up again
just because that is the way
and I lay down to think about it for now
I jiggle I move my hand circularly over my face
I will drop it for you
I’m not hot on the trail of anything
I’m just looking around


we are together on this turning planet in the expanding expanse
we stretch to the edge of this
you’re at least as complex as a planet
your warmth moves outward
you remind me of fireworks over enormous buildings
I touch your cheek with my fingers you are underappreciated
it is yours this is yours after all
glowing bugs fill the air around us
here you are entering a door
and I am whole™ again
because I look up