12.4.08

tomcruise.3

it is just above the water where the fireflies group
it is on the surface of the water where the stars and the bugs reflect together
the steel cage that encloses the ring shakes as
one person slams another person’s head against it
sway of the chain link
Tom Cruise sits on a rocking chair on the front porch waiting for you
two people discuss dates as they carry a mattress through a yard
the residue on the plastic where the sticker was
we are still between a sheet and a mattress
we have something to hide
so whatever else there is is secondary to staying hidden
and keeping the mouths inside us
to eat small parts of us slowly in this shabby state that looks remarkable
it falls apart alone and knows it left us here
the strong smell of large cats with spots between trees and flowers
I have wanted to cry all day but I have denied that impulse so far
and it is so tough to tell what will bring the breaking
so I’ll carry my body along and live through
and shut off nothing™ and attempt while incapable™
a truck blows a tire and is under the super cell storm turns into a tornado
quiet hotel across from the nightclub there is a back door closing
slowly and some smoke going into the air above the ashtray
a person wearing headphones flips through a catalog
walking between the tv and the couch
we’ve gotten ourselves into a tough™ spot
one of the tires is up on the snow bank
one of tire spins just above the ground
Tom Cruise gives a thumbs up as he flies over us in a military jet
a shoe pulls gum from the sidewalk
a rock on a wet rock this narrow place is home
a few facial hairs missed by the razor
Tom Cruise wipes a towel on your skin
our world is filled with small things and invisible searches
while we try to talk about nothing™ in passing
I call out your name in my room and remember
the window is open
an arrow with a rope tied to it flies through the room into the wall
how did you find out
a body with a wound in a bed
a hand pushes the tray off the table
and this distance
our distance only grows
a grappling hook catches on each one of our limbs
the ropes go taut and we are suspended in the air
I dance with the lion in the top of the tree on the sidewalk of the city
Tom Cruise will forever be with you
Tom Cruise is jumping on couches dancing on tables and
hanging from chandeliers
I care™ about you
I am afraid™ you will turn on me at any moment
so I keep to myself for most of it
a feather in the helmet on the ground
make-up moving down a face in a tear and
the hand that smears across the cheek
is loving™ and only trying to help
but we break together sometimes
this little fire is nice Tom Cruise is smiling at you here
it’s all okay™ no matter what no matter what it’s all okay™
I close my eyes when the sun comes up I only look at the eclipse
the wheel turns the earth turns the human looks at the human
and looks away because it is scary™ to be able to look
leave me with nothing and I will think of you
you are the only person I would be happy™ to see right now
maybe I’m hungry and that is where the emptiness comes from
I will smile lovingly™ take your hand
and put it to my forehead in honor of you
I will breathe repeatedly in honor of you and me being here together
I will not be angry™ at you
there are small cages around the chickens
and there are smaller cages protecting the hidden animals
and my heart has its place and purpose
but not for long
loving™ hands and fish bowls float in space
out of the dark into the dark
I swipe my hands through the dark and
swallow some spit to drown the scared™ out of me
the area of invisible pollution around the steam that rises
from the sewer into the air above the street between the buildings
we are held
we are small animals
with short life spans
holding on
when I die I will leave me behind
I’ve gotten used to being left behind because I live in the world
I have learned to return the favor
and it hurts me without injury
but I cannot answer the phone right away
I shudder and touch the tiny plastic button to make the ringing stop
I am turned up music
I am your umbrella and I wait patiently for rain
I walk past you on a sidewalk and
say nothing for the sake of habit